| I just sat down and wrote this. I've never really just wrote a full song at once. |
[15 Feb 2005|04:17pm] |
(1)
Killing myself seems like such an easy fuckin' option
The whole world's against me; and I'm the only one wearin' gloves when boxin'
I'm locked in this depression, to teach me lessons, I'm guessin'
But who's teachin' 'em? God doesn't exist, so who's creating these questions?
Who cares really? They never get answered to my knowledge
Every problem I have I solve it, but on the other hand - I cause it
I promise; That I'll never tell the truth again
It's the reason I'm losin' friends, it's the reason I have to pretend
That everything will be okay, just so I can live today
Just so I can lie to myself, like there is someone else to blame
Everything is always my fault; This started back because of her
But we won't bring that up, I like to pretend her name and face are a blur
She caused my life to be a curse, Since then I've been lookin' for a cure
So I found another "her", thought she was it, but I guess the potion wasn't pure
So now I'm stuck again, letting the poison from both of them go through my veins
Deliver the pain to every part my brain, then it reaches my heart and again I'm sane
I can only be happy when I'm down, because it's all I'm used to
I don't owe anyone explainations; Ask if I've felt happy... I used to
(chorus)
They say you get no gain without the pain, but it's a lie
Kind of like life itself, we play the game but there's no prize
Everything is falsified, which relates to my smile
Death asked for marriage and I'm walkin' down the aisle... (x2)
(2)
It really doesn't make sense - any of it - I fuckin' hate it
I mean I cry from my sadness, but a majority of it is because I'm frustrated
I'm so enraged and full of angst, I feel like my life itself is staged
No awards for ME to win, but it's okay, cause I have no one to thank
My whole acceptance speech is blank, mainly because I'm NOT accepted
But then again the chance of me attending the show itself is a stretch, it's
A fuckin' joke everytime I open my eyes when I wake-up
I somehow put on this make-up for the sake of - being the only one to see when the ache comes
It's a joke, everytime I speak to those around me
They think they've found me, but even I can't find my way over this wall that surrounds me
You probably still don't get it, I don't blame you
Just know - that sooner or later I'll be the one you burnin' those flames to
And those candles will be put out by the ice in my veins you left me with
Which will come out the slit in my wrist that I blessed me with
This life could have been precious, if someone would have recieved my message
I gave you all the signs and yet you STILL left it
(chorus)
They say you get no gain without the pain, but it's a lie
Kind of like life itself, we play the game but there's no prize
Everything is falsified, which relates to my smile
Death asked for marriage and I'm walkin' down the aisle... (x2)
I didn't ask for this...
I'd blame you, but you'd all blame me...
So then I'd feel like it's my fault...
Can't you see the tragedy?
(3)
This is a goodbye to the people who impact me in a negative way
To the people who helped lead the sedatives toward me today
And of course, to all the people I ever felt for, and knew I loved
The same people who pretended to be there when I needed a hug
You left me the way I am; Helped me see that nothing's worth it
Also put emphasis on the reasons I would never be perfect
Made me feel worthless - while you are out havin' a good time
You allowed me to open my mind to different ways I could die
I should try to get past this, but you've constanly knocked me down
"Love doesn't exist" I'll say it nice and loud...
Admit that I'm depressed all nice and proud, it won't come as a surprise
People seem to be able to see it when they look into my eyes
And if love does exist, I'll know what happens; I've been pushed and shoved
Those who said they did to me, took it back... - I've never been loved.
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